Consider the honey badger. Its attributes are well known, but difficult to describe. Bravery, stubbornness, a lack of concern for aesthetics and perception are all qualities of various species of honey badger. They are their own being, and are unflinchingly rigid on how they will behave. It is instinctual, thus unchangeable. A honey badger only knows how to be a honey badger and nothing else.

The original document featuring Kyle Bratke’s team honey badger selections was a collection of all the honey badger flavors of the month. I must admit a few of his selections were true to the honey badger spirit. It was an admirable effort by a West Virginian. Now it’s time for a true Virginian to right what was wrong and thoughtfully select the most dangerous creatures roaming these D1 lands.

125-Tyler Cox-Probably the first round draft pick for any serious manager of a legitimate Honey Badger Squad. The man had matches with scores of 17-11, 14-12, 19-17, 11-9,10-9, 12-4, 10-6. Tyler doesn’t just want you to score on him, he welcomes it. He lulls you into a false sense of security “Oh, look at this cute furry honey badger, he couldn’t harm me.” Then BAM, you’re lying on the mat counting the lights wondering where it all went wrong. You’ll ask “Did he just inside trip me from space? Was I not up 11 points in the 2nd period?” The answer almost always is yes!

133-Johnni DiJulius-One of the more complex breeds of honey badger is the JDJ. In an act of intimidation, DiJulius will reveal his damaged teeth. A sign of a battle tested honey badger.  Rumor has it JDJ lost his tooth after besting an 18 foot Saltwater Croc! He chewed on its lifeless hide with such vigor and tenacity that not even the most durable jaw could contain each tooth.  When in battle, he doesn’t need the sophisticated tools of the modern honey badger, he simply needs your elbow. If Johnni can grab your elbow, he knows he will eat for weeks. He is his own man and has a style all his own. Classic honey badger.

141-Chris Mecate-Listen, I mentioned aesthetics are a big part of the honey badger package. I’ll say this, When he gets his hair cut, he LITERALLY ASKS FOR THE HONEY BADGER and they give it to him. This honey badger is not afraid to migrate across the country in search of prey. Mecate was a feared honey badger in California and now calls Virginia his den. Mecate's style and unique appearance is designed to make you not take him as serious as you would a typical honey badger. Big mistake.  The next thing you know you're on your back in a cradle wondering how someone with hair that smells like Mediterranean Lavender could do such damage!

149-Mitchell Port-He’s such a Honey Badger he don’t give a rip where he is in the line up, he just wants to taste blood so we bumped him up! The stories of Port’s honey badger instincts are innumerable! He’s unabashedly donned a mullet and mustache through much of his career. Many honey badgers would have had a relaxing weekend when Logan Stieber wasn’t able to compete at the All Star Classic. Not Mitchell Port, this honey badger had to eat! He drove across the state that night, made weight (again) the next day and for a brief moment quelled his insatiable appetite at the Clarion Open upon his unsuspecting opponents!

157-Dylan Ness-The Golden Gopher is a known relative of the Honey Badger. For four years we’ve watched Dylan Ness refuse to give any rips at any point in time. He’s been rolling across his back, pinning stud wrestlers and using the gator bacon against the elite competitors. He has the respect of his wild ecosystem evinced by the fact that any time he reaches back or turns and faces someone from bottom, they back up quicker than a field mouse evades a honey badger in the wild! Whether it’s Derek St. John, James Green or Jake Sueflohn there’s not a stud he won’t try to send sky high.

165-Taylor Walsh-Admittedly, Taylor and I had our differences. I found his willingness to use moves that nobody had time to practice defending unfair. Then I realized Walsh was was simply following his honey badger instincts. Under the tutelage of Nick Simmons, someone with years of honey badger experience and the nickname of “East Lansing Strangler” there’s no wonder Taylor Walsh is head locking All Americans at such a high clip. The three-quarter stack is mocked in civilized lands, yet the untame Walsh utilizes this primitive tool to incapacitate his unsuspecting prey.

174-Blaise Butler-Blaise has been known to do honey badger things both in the hills of Virginia as well as on the wrestling mat. It is a documented fact that Blaise Butler has not lived indoors during his time at UVA. He lives off the land somewhere in the mountains. UVA Coach Steve Garland said it is not uncommon for Blaise to bring a Boar carcass to wrestling practice for his teammates to share. Not only is he a man of the mountains, he also throws caution to the wind and his opponents to their backs. He’s a frequent supplier of “Dirty Flo Takedown Of The Week” for his willingness to pull the trigger on some enormous throws, including a headlock in overtime!

184-Sammy Brooks-With a flowing mane, this Iowa Hawkeye is the unique combo of tremendous honey badger wrestling style and an outward appearance that screams “honey badger.” Sammy’s Senior quote in his yearbook was “I’d rather throw ya than know ya.” Learning this, every college coach in the country came calling to the OPRF (a known supplier of honey badgers) hammer. Under the watch of the Iowa coaching staff he has blossomed into an extremely dangerous honey badger. However, as a cobra will occassionaly bite the honey badger, Sammy Brooks' risky style can bite him. Up comfortably against Nolan Boyd he could have waited it out and watched death overcome his Cowboy prey, but Sammy went for the jugular, as many honey badgers do, and this ended up costing Sammy. This moment of unbridled killer-instinct is when I realized Sammy would be a tremendous inclusion and the only man to represent 184 pounds on CP’s Team Honey Badger.

197-Nathan Burak-Perhaps the most obvious choice for Team Honey Badger. Nathan Burak brings a combination of both street smarts and style. Having grown up in Colorado Springs and then choosing to wrestle at Iowa, this guy knows about the mean streets. He is officially on the record as having been shanked multiple times making him the most frequently stabbed athlete in D1 athletics. The life of the streets has honed Burak into a 2 time All American. Not only does Nathan Burak have more street cred than Suge Knight, he’s got style to boot. Defying current trends is what honey badgers were born to do. Burak’s decision to wear double knee pads as well as tall, tall socks perpetuates that stereotype. It is clear the Iowa Coaching staff recognized his Honey Badger qualities immediately considering he is one of a very small list of athletes to start as a True Freshman for Iowa.

285-Mike McMullan-Easton, PA’s chief export is honey badgers. Mike McMullan has been making the 610 proud for years with his honey badger antics. Some people would raise their hands in joy after defeating a tough opponent, when McMullan knocked off 2 time NCAA Champ Tony Nelson he gave a throat slash that showed the nation how few rips Mike truly gave. The pomp and frills of the All American podium do not satisfy, nor entertain the 4 time All-American. Mike McMullan was spotted making a phone call while standing on the podium this year. McMullan’s wild style garnered him the reputation as one of the most dangerous 285’s the nation has seen.   Sometimes he mat returns like this:


Head Coach: Steve Martin-Bratke’s team included 4 Coaches. It was a recipe for a complete and total disaster and wholly indicative of an inexperienced General Manager for a honey badger squad. When you bring 4 alpha-badgers into the fold to lead your squad you are asking for in-fighting and blood to be spilt. I need one man to hone this squad and lead them. The man for the job is Steve Martin. The former Hawkeye All-American is the current head coach at ODU. You can count on Steve Martin to never give the refs a break. Recognizing his nature, Coach Martin asks his team to hold on to his belt to physically hold him back to prevent him from being a little too honey badger. He will bring the passion, energy and gravitas necessary to lead this squad to great heights!